LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
