Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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