ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
