I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
love makes seman taste better
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
