Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
