I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
