I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
