adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
