At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm like, not good at living.
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