I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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