you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
