my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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