he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
