Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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