Buhtt sex?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
