I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
