youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize