it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize