Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I touched a dick in church today
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
