I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
