anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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