Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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