Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My penis needs a shock collar
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
