Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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