I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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