It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
