Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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