I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
