where am i from again
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
