...so i touched it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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