if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
