ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
