Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
