i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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