Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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