just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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