I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
