Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
