Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
