Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
