even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
