Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
