I bet he comes in French.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
