someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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