Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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