I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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