is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
