he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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