Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
