belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
