Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize