Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
