let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
