I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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