So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
