Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
