Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
