oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
