he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When are your genitals available?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Enjoy the penises
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize