She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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