is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
