okay pat passed out under dana's car
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
