I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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